Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize