it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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