Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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