Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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