their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
