Just mADE A PArabola og urine
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize