ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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