Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
