he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
