Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
