dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
The beer is more important than you right now.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Randomize
