one two three fourrrrnication!
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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