His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
