..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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