Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
