do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
