My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
