remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
