I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Maybe he injected his testicle?
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
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