If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I FOUND THE LEGS
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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