it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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