So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
