you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
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