is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
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