i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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