i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
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