He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
