I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I FOUND THE LEGS
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
