non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
