Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
