My friends, they love my intelligence
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
