you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
