did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Someone came in the potted fern
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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