love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
