the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
