You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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