i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
