i think my mom watched the whole time
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
