You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
