my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
