Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
