Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
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