the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize