Your tits are I can't wait for
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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