o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
