perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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