Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
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