Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
