I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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