it was like his penis was on wheels.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
