Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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