so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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