just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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