She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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