What did we do last night that was yellow?
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
