Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize