I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
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I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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