My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
