How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.