i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
