If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
