he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
