You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
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Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
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That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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