like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
