I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
im on a boat
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