is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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