I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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