Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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