I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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