the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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